Bye week coach speak

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The Buccaneers are by now in full bye week mode as they take some well deserved time for themselves and their families. Bruce Arians, known for his resolve to make his coaches and players put family first is probably somewhere on a pontoon boat, sipping some scotch, trying not to replay the seasons first six weeks. He’s had no luck with replay so far this year.

The following is an imagined, fictitious, dramatized account of some of the interactions between players and coaches as they headed into the off week.

Coaches To The Players

Buccaneers offensive line coach Joe Gilbert to his lineman:

Be sure to bring umbrellas out to the beach this week fellas. You haven’t blocked ANYTHING yet this season and that sun can be dangerous.

Buccaneers wide receiver coach Kevin Garver to his talented receiving corps:

Stay in shape this next week, our QB will get more than 1.3 seconds to throw the ball eventually and you will need to be ready to catch a few.

Buccaneers running back and assistant head coach Harold Goodwin:

You, Peyton, no, you RoJo, no, you Peyton….heck, both of you have a good week off.

Buccaneers special teams coordinator Keith Armstrong:

No matter what is being thrown at you fellas. If you can’t catch it cleanly, GET OUT OF THE WAY!
Buccaneers defensive coordinator Todd Bowles:

To the front seven, Keep on keeping on! Get some rest. We have a lot of football to be played. You’ve worked hard to establish an identity, and you deserve the time off.

To the secondary, Wind sprints in the morning. See you at 7:00 AM.

A possible alternative to the secondaryDon’t any of you try to work as reporters during this bye week because y’all can’t cover ANYTHING!

Buccaneer offensive coordinator Byron Leftwich:

Hey everybody, did anybody see my headset? The one I use to send in the plays. Has anybody seen coach Arians walking around with an extra headset? 

Buccaneers head coach Bruce Arians to his prized pupil Jameis Winston:

Remember when we were kids and played sandlot football? Remember when we would cheat on the blitz count of Mississippi’s? Instead of Mississippi, it was One-Mississippi, Two-Mississippi, etc. Well, for the rest of the season you have 2-Mississippi’s to throw the ball. Practice releasing the ball by 2-Mississippi, but have that beautiful fiancee of yours, Breion, count REALLY QUICKLY!

Finally…

Tampa Bay Buccaneer fans really do wish the team well during this mini vacation. They wait anxiously to see which team will return to action next week in Tennessee against the Titans. Buccaneer fans also take solace in the fact that the team is halfway through this six-month road trip.

May we all enjoy this one week vacation from the grind of NFL football. Well, the grind of Buccaneer NFL football, anyway.

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