Carter’s Corner: 4 Christmas Gifts To Give To The Bucs

Looking for unsolicited sarcastic opinion pieces that are hypocritical in nature due to the writer’s constant criticism of a league that he still covers and enjoys? Welcome to Carter’s Corner!

It’s the holiday season, and the Bucs are still playing like shit. They managed to sneak out an overtime victory over the Trace McSorley-led Arizona Cardinals Sunday night, giving themselves a bit more breathing room in their quest to conquer the NFC South. But instead of focusing on that meaningless group of sorry, pathetic excuses of football teams, let’s have some fun and talk about 4 Christmas Presents the Bucs would probably like to receive. 

Some Cocaine 

With how lifeless and depressed the Bucs have looked all season, maybe they need a bit of help from Scarface to wake themselves up. It’s just been an absolutely brutal season and it starts with how emotionless this team seems to look week after week. They don’t really seem to care about anything other than pouting and throwing little temper tantrums any time things don’t go right (which has been quite often this season). 

Tom Brady’s Family

Despite starting out strong following the divorce from his wife, Brady’s play has spiraled quite a bit since the news broke that he was becoming a bachelor again. Maybe he just needs to go back to his wife and kids instead of doing, well, whatever it is he’s doing right now. 

A New Head Coach

Really, any new head coach will do. Frank Reich, Sean Payton, Eric Bieniemy Matt Rhule, hell, even Adam Gase. I don’t care; just get Todd Bowles (and Byron Leftwich) the fuck out of here. 

A Different Offensive Gameplan

The one they’ve got ain’t working. They’re one of the worst offenses in the league and it has a lot to do with the playcalling. Did y’all see that sequence where they ran the damn ball 3 times in a row up the middle and pretended to be shocked when they turned it over on downs? I mean, good gracious, it’s the definition of insanity. 

Make sure you follow Carter on Twitter, read his work at Creative Loafing and check him out on the RBLR Sports Podcast.

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