Five Things More Pathetic Than Monday Night’s Bucs’ Performance

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Whatever you were doing Monday night, I hope it wasn’t watching the Bucs’ game. If it was, I’m truly sorry for your loss. As someone who also had to watch the first half (I couldn’t bring myself to stomach another), I offer my condolences. 

I mean, God, what a colossal waste. This coaching staff, the roster, the leadership, all around. Just truly an all-time pathetic performance. 

So here are 5 things more pathetic than that Monday night performance. 

The Sequel Star Wars trilogy

Not saying the prequels (or even original trilogy) were masterpieces, but my goodness were those last 3 movies insufferable. I mean, pick a fucking story and stick to it. 

The Justice League movie (every edition, yes including the Snyder Cut)

I don’t know if anyone else had to force themselves to watch the 4-hour long Snyder Cut of this film, but don’t bother if you haven’t. Nothing but weird chanting when Wonder Woman is on the screen and an absurd amount of slow motion (even for a superhero movie). 

Anything Kanye has released post-2016

I know Kanye’s public meltdown has been well-covered for quite some time (and the dude has 100% done it to himself, no excuses for the terrible excuse of who he is as a person), but musically speaking, his run of albums before The Life of Pablo was truly remarkable. When you have to decide between My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy, Yeezus, and Graduation as the best album (or even Watch The Throne if you want to throw that in there), it’s something special. But recently? Donda, Jesus is King, Ye, barf. 

A Charlotte Hornets game

Pick a season, any season, in the history of this current version of the Hornets (not the 90s Hornets that ended up moving to New Orleans), and any game in that season could be described as awful. They’ve wasted Kemba Walker’s prime, and now they’ll probably do it with LaMelo Ball, too. 

The Rays’ attendance numbers

New stadium talks are constant because no one fucking goes to those Rays games, despite how fun and good of a baseball team they are. I’m excited for baseball season. Thank God I don’t have to watch an AARP member take snaps in the shotgun any more. 

Make sure you follow Carter on Twitter, read his work at Creative Loafing and check him out on the RBLR Sports Podcast.

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