Looking for unsolicited sarcastic opinion pieces that are hypocritical in nature due to the writer’s constant criticism of a league that he still covers and enjoys? Welcome to Carter’s Corner!
The Bucs may have won the game in spectacular fashion late Sunday afternoon, but there are still a multitude of issues with this team, the biggest being their historically awful rushing attack. They’re on pace to be one of the worst rushing teams in league history, clocking in at 60 rushing yards per game following Sunday’s victory where they tallied a whopping 51 yards on the ground.
So, if the Bucs are looking for some ways to boost their running game, here are 3things more likely to happen than the Bucs running for 100 yards this season.
Pick me up to play left guard
I may be only 5 ’11 (I usually say 6 feet straight up but I can’t lie to y’all) and struggle to lift myself out of bed every morning, much less lift weights, but damn is this interior o-line awful in facet of the game. Robert Hainsey might be one of the worst centers in football, and Luke Goedeke and that new guy they brought in (ok I know his name, it’s Nick Leverett, but he’s bad enough to just be “that new guy”) are both just horrendous in pass protection and against the run. It’s no wonder Leonard Fournette and Rachaad White can’t seem to crack more than 3 yards per carry.
Run more on first down
Please, before you start furiously commenting on this Facebook post, realize this is HEAVY sarcasm. Bucs fans seem to get triggered very easily at the phrases “first down” or “run,” and “run on first down” is just asking for trouble. It’s understandable; it seems like OC Byron Leftwich is taking side bets on how often the Bucs will call running plays on first down, and he’s winning all of them.
Convince Tom Brady’s ex wife to start doing her witchcraft again
It’s a wide-spread conspiracy that Gisele is actually a witch that has helped Brady catch so many lucky breaks throughout his career that have led to his massive success. Now, they’re getting divorced, and the Bucs are struggling, and this run game is certainly no exception. So maybe call her, Tom. Go play that Phil Collins (oh shit it’s Peter Gabriel my bad) song that John Cusack plays outside of Ione Skye’s house.
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