Looking for unsolicited sarcastic opinion pieces that are hypocritical in nature due to the writer’s constant criticism of a league that he still covers and enjoys? Welcome to Carter’s Corner!
The Bucs (surprise, surprise) stunk up the joint again Sunday afternoon on CBS’ featured game of the week. For those tuning in expecting to see masterful performances from two brilliant QBs, unfortunately you were treated to a mind-numbingly disgusting performance by the Bucs in the second half that all but handed the Bengals the game.
So here are 5 performances that were brought to mind when sitting through this God-awful showing.
Fergie’s 2018 NBA All-Star Game National Anthem
Remember when a bunch of NBA players had to witness one of the strangest, most off-putting performances of the National Anthem in recent memory? I mean, the guys were shown holding in laughter because of how ridiculous and awkward it was. No offense to Fergie, because she’s certainly made some bangers in her career (“Clumsy” is one of the most underrated hits of the past 2 decades), but the Bucs performance was about on the same level as that National Anthem.
Any Performance Of The Show Cats
The weird movie version of it was so awful. Just creepy and weird and one of those things you can’t really sit all the way through. But what was shocking to me is that they even decided to make it in the first place. The broadway show is just awful; weird production, the songs are boring… maybe I just hate Broadway and I’m being an asshole, but regardless, it was an awful performance by the Bucs that did bring to mind any rendition I’ve seen of the show Cats.
An A Capella Concert
A Capella is the worst thing ever created. I absolutely despise it and wouldn’t wish having to sit through a concert on my worst enemy. As poorly as the Bucs did play in that second half, I still enjoyed watching that more than an acapella concert, mostly because Joe Burrow is on both of my fantasy teams.
Adam Sandler In Jack & Jill
I love me some Adam Sandler. Waterboy? Uncut Gems? That recent basketball movie where he’s married to Queen Latifah? Spectacular. But I had to watch Jack & Jill on a date when I was in middle school, and it was the worst movie I’ve ever seen. Adam Sandler plays both himself and a twin sister, and it’s just… yeah. Maybe if the Bucs had to watch that movie in film sessions for coaches to get their point across about how bad they played in the second half it could lighten the mood, and everyone would stop playing like their dog just died.
The New England Patriots’ Lateral Play At The End Of Their Loss To The Raiders Sunday Afternoon
I figured I should throw in at least one actual sports reference in here. For those uneducated and uninformed, the Patriots lost to the Las Vegas Raiders Sunday afternoon on a ridiculous (supposedly improvised) lateral play that ended with pass rusher Chandler Jones stiff arming QB Mac Jones on his way to scoring a game-winning touchdown. The game was tied; why running back Rhamondre Stevenson and receiver Jakobi Myers took it upon themselves to pull this ridiculous play out of their ass is beyond me. It looked very similar to the Bucs’ fake punt attempt at the beginning of the second half…